There's a Heart that's Breaking
by sundayxmorningx
Summary: She doesn't miss him. She won't allow herself to miss him. At least that's what she tells herself. Takes place after Season 5 finale.


**A/N: I don't own Gossip Girl.  
I'm kind of stuck on **_**A John Legend Kind of Love **_**but this idea came to me and I really wanted to write it out before I lost inspiration. I was inspired by the song "Missing You" by John Waite but it doesn't follow the song completely. I think it'll fit their situation at the end of Season 5.**

* * *

Bitter.

Blair Waldorf is bitter at everyone.

- Serena, for pretending to change (only to stay exactly the same by sleeping with her boyfriend… again).  
- Dan, for pulling a Serena (a.k.a. leaving without saying a word… not that she would have listened).  
- Chuck, for finally ending things (although it was over for months, but she should have had the last word).  
- Nate, for just standing there with a confused expression (ok, maybe that was a bit out of place).

"So," Nate clears his throat, "How are you?"

Blair gives him one of her infamous glares and Nate Immediately goes back to sipping his coffee. The two of them are currently at The Spectator headquarters – he just finished a meeting and she wanted to stay away from the penthouse.

"The universe is out to get me," she states.

"Oh come on Blair, the uni –"

"Serena slept with my boyfriend," Blair interrupts, earning a cringe from Nate.

"Dan is off to Rome, a trip we were supposed to take together," she continues, "Chuck is – well, Chuck is no longer a concern of mine. Then there's you."

"What about me?" his eyes widen, "I've always tried to be there for all of you, which believe it or not, isn't the easiest thing to do."

Blair opens her mouth but quickly shuts it when she realizes Nate has a point.

After a minute of silence, he speaks up, "So is this how our summer will be? You coming to The Spectator?"

"Is my company not good enough?" she asks with a hint of playfulness in her tone.

He shakes his head, "No, I enjoy your company. You and I hanging out, it will be like old times – kind of. I could always use an extra set of eyes."

She thinks about it, "I guess I could help you keep everyone in check."

* * *

Two weeks into her unofficial job and Blair is slowly feeling back to normal. Or as normal as you can get when your boyfriend ignores you.

"You could always talk to him," Nate suggests.

"I'm not the one who's wrong," she defends, "I told him why I couldn't say I love you yet. I explained the diary entries. Plus, it's not like I went and had sex with you."

"Wait, what?" he asks.

She rolls her eyes, "You're his best friend."

Nate takes a second – _I guess I am_.

* * *

The next day, Serena is at the penthouse, bright and early. Blair tries to keep herself composed and lets her speak first.

"I'm so sorry, B," she pleads.

The blond looks broken, but she refuses to back down. She's not going to forgive so easily.

"It wasn't Dan," she admits.

Blair narrows her eyes, "I saw what happened, Gossip Girl –"

"Set me up," Serena explains, "Yes, Dan was at the bar but he left to finish packing I tried to convince him to stay but it didn't work. After he left, I kept drinking and some guy came up to me – he looked so much like Dan – and we started to kiss. I guess I was convinced that it was him that when I went to visit Dan the next day and he denied it, I just blew up."

She finishes explaining and looks up her brunette best friend, or rather, former best friend.

"Why are you telling me this now?" Blair's voice starts to rise, "After two weeks of him being gone and me trying not to miss him."

"Would you have believed me if I told you earlier?" Serena asks, "Nate told me that you were finally ok so I thought I'd tell you now."

_Nate_, Blair thought, _bless him and his neutrality but he needs to learn to shut up._

"B?"

She looks at the blond and says slowly, "Serena, I appreciate you telling me. Now if you excuse me, I have a few things to think about. You know you're way out."

"Are we," Serena hesitates, "Are we good again?"

Blair is already halfway up the stairs, "I don't know. I want to say we are, but after everything we've been through… History has a nasty way of repeating itself."

The pain was reflected in the blonde's eyes, Blair sighs but continues, "I think we need time apart. Goodbye, Serena."

She reaches the top of the stairs when she hears a soft "goodbye, Blair."

* * *

It takes Blair another week to find the courage (yes, the courage) to call Dan. She gets and encouraging smile from Nate before he disappears into her kitchen. Her shaky fingers dial the numbers and it starts to ring.

It goes to voicemail and she sighs in relief, "Hi… Dan, it's Blair. I spoke to Serena and she told me what happened. I'm… sorry. I jumped to conclusion and I just let you leave. Call me back when you can. Please."

Blair and Nate spend the rest of the day at the penthouse, watching tacky reality shows – he's actually into the shows, she's string to waste time as she waits for the phone call.

Dan doesn't call until tomorrow morning. During breakfast, to be exact. Blair's eyes flash in alarm and Dorota scurries off into the kitchen.

"Hi," she breathes out.

"Hey Blair," he's equally breathy.

"Dan, I – I've missed you," her voice is so quiet.

"Me too," he pauses, "So you know what happened."

Although he can't see, she nods, "Why didn't you tell me? You left."

"Blair, I was hurt," Dan explains, "I know it wasn't right for me to just leave but everything – I guess I was just looking out for myself."

"I understand," she says sincerely, "And I am happy for you. It must be going so well for you."

"It kind of is," he can't help mention. Blair smiles.

She tells him, "I never meant to make it look like I was choosing Chuck over you. That wasn't the case. That was never the case."

"I know," he assures her, "Nate explained it to me."

"Nate's everywhere," she mumbles and Dan laughs.

"He's your friend and I know how protective you get over your friends," he says.

She tells him, "I choose you."

Dan lets out a breath but he's smiling, Blair can tell.

"I shouldn't have left like that," his voice falters, "We should have talked it out in person."

"We're a team," she repeats the familiar words, "Our relationship –"

"– is our world," he finishes.

* * *

Blair nervously taps on the table as she waits for her glass of wine. It's barely noon but she figures it's needed for the occasion. She tries to keep her breathing steady when the familiar figure walks in.

Dan stops in his tracks on his way to the table. Alessandra told him that they were meeting as a check up on the book's progress. While the person at the table is a brunette, it's not who he was expecting.

"Hi."

"Hi."

Before she can help herself, a smile appears on Blair's face and she's standing up. Dan's feet start to move and he wraps his arms around her. They soak in each other's presence for as long as they can, afraid that they'll disappear if let go.

"You're here," he's surprised, "In Rome."

"I'm here," even she's a bit shocked.

They pull away and before either of them could say a word, his lips are already on hers – a long awaited kiss that said _I'm sorry… I miss you… We can fix this_.

Blair asks, "Should we talk now?"

Dan controls his laughter, "Let's enjoy lunch first."

* * *

Their summer is spent in Rome and the couple couldn't have been any happier and at peace. The spent the first day talking, arguing, laughing and kissing. Time away from New York is exactly what they needed. Sure, Gossip Girl still posts about them but it's surprisingly tame. It might be because the group is split up (Nate is in New York – he has The Spectator. Serena is in California – she did well there once. Chuck is in South America – he's helping his dad expand Bass Industries).

"I never want to leave," Blair sinks further in the bed.

Dan looks up from his laptop, "We can't live in one hotel after another."

She sighs but smiles, "How's the novel going?"

"A lot better," he sound enthusiastic, "Halfway there."

The news earns him a kiss on the cheek, which he happily accepts. Dan continues to type away and Blair watches. She stares at him with admiration, adoration, respect and maybe even… love.

She gives him one more kiss, "I really, really care about you, you know that?"

"I do now," he smirks and she groans.

He assures her, "It's ok, y'know? It's ok that you can't say I love you yet. I completely understand."

Blair wonders who she got so lucky with Dan. He was always there for her, always patient… And she hopes she can do the same.

* * *

It's their last day in Rome. Blair wrote out an itinerary and Dan just follows. Halfway through, they stop at the Spanish Steps (she needs to shop and he needs to update his wardrobe, whether he agrees or not). The weather is perfect so they take their time. She's overly affectionate but he doesn't mind, although some of the pictures turn out blurry. Dan takes any opportunity to take candid photos of Blair and she pretends not to notice.

"Come on," she grabs his hand, "The stores await."

He stays on the Steps, "Just a few more pictures."

"Fine," she moves in closer, "You're lucky I love you."

The camera clicks but Dan wasn't paying attention to where he was aiming.

"What?"

Blair looks at him confused until she realizes what she said.

"You just said –"

"I love you."

She is surprised at how easy the words flowed through her mouth.

"Dan?"

He blinks and whispers, "Yeah."

"I love you," she smiles.

"Oh Blair, I love you too," he steps forwards and pulls her close for a kiss.

Their lips linger for a moment until he speaks up, "Wait until Nate hears about this."

She smacks him, "Of course you'd ruin the moment by mentioning Nate."

* * *

**A/N: I admit, I had trouble ending it because I didn't want it to be too corny. I hope I did a decent job. Please let me know what you think. Thanks! =)**


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